Mom, Dad . . . I’m Pregnant
When Your Daughter or Son Faces an Unplanned Pregnancy
Jayne E. Schooler
Available from Navpress at
www.navpress.com
ISBN: 1-57683-482-4, 206 pp.
Few
things can change a parent’s life so much as learning that their teen
daughter or son is involved in an unplanned pregnancy. Most parents want
what is best for their children, and will plan and sacrifice so their
children can attain their dreams.
A
premarital pregnancy disrupts those dreams and can leave parents wondering
where things went wrong. Like a couple who plans all their lives to visit a
foreign country only to find that their plane has taken them to the wrong
destination, they find themselves navigating unknown terrain and grieving
the loss of “what might have been.”
Jayne Schooler, author of Mom, Dad .... I’m Pregnant, is a life
issues counselor and expert on family issues whose daughter became pregnant
in college. Drawing on her own family’s experience as well as insights
gleaned from other parents and those who work with pregnant teens and young
adults, her book is a road map for parents who find themselves on this
journey with their child.
Schooler writes that parents learning of a premarital pregnancy usually
experience a tidal wave of unexpected emotions—anger, sorrow, fear, guilt,
shame, loneliness, helplessness. Even parents who consider themselves to be
pro-life may feel so overwhelmed that abortion seems like the only option.
Seeing the pregnancy as the loss of their daughter’s future, they “take
control quickly to get their daughter back on course,” even if that means
pushing for an unwanted abortion.
For parents whose sons are involved in a premarital pregnancy, other issues
can arise. Schooler points out that although some young men will abandon the
mother or push for abortion, many do want a chance to be supportive and
involved in their child’s life. However, the baby’s father is often
overlooked not only by the girl’s family but also by organizations that
serve unwed mothers, such as pregnancy centers and adoption agencies.
Instead, this book will help parents support their children in a way that
serves the young parents and the baby. It addresses three major issues, (1)
dealing with the initial news of the pregnancy, (2) making critical
decisions for the future, and (3) healing the wounds an unexpected pregnancy
can cause in a family. Each chapter includes questions for self-reflection
and discussion as well as practical advice and resources for families that
need assistance.
Most
of all, Schooler offers hope to hurting parents that a premarital pregnancy
doesn’t have to destroy their child’s life. Instead, they can help their
daughter or son make good decisions for themselves and their baby. This book
can put families on the road to healing and help break the cycle of behavior
that leads to parenting problems, repeat pregnancies, and abortion.
While the book is clearly aimed at Christian parents (Schooler’s husband is
a pastor), her honesty about painful issues and her commonsense advice make
it an excellent resource for any family facing a premarital pregnancy. Every
crisis pregnancy center, church, family therapist, maternity home, and
adoption agency should have this book on their shelves as a resource for
families.
