When I look back at where I have come from--the guilt, the shame, and the grief of abortion--it is with continual amazement. I live my life with a deep joy and gratitude now. Instead of doubting the mercy and goodness of God, I have come to expect it.

It is said that God can bring good out of all things--even the worst of situations. There was a time when I would have found this hard to believe, but I know through personal experience that this it true. God can indeed bring good out of all things if we let Him--even abortion. Through His grace, those who have had abortions can come to find peace, healing, and even joy in their lives.

I know some of you are probably thinking, "but I had more than one abortion," or "mine was probably worse than hers," or "nobody forced me to abort," etc. My answer to you is that the process of healing from abortion isn't about who you are and what you've done, it is about who God is and what He has done!

The mercy of God is there for the taking--if you only you will dare to trust His lead on the journey of healing from abortion. His mercy will bring you a new found life, one that is full of peace.

I feel this peace because God now lives within me. I no longer feel the need to be perfect, because I know that God loves me in spite of my imperfections--and even because of them. I no longer fear abandonment, for I have learned that He never abandoned me--even after my abortion.

Through my healing I have learned how to have more compassion and mercy for others. I am careful not to judge, for I know where I have come from and how much I needed compassion and mercy. Through my child lost to abortion, God has taught me about true love as opposed to the self-centered attachments I always wanted. Through the forgiveness I have been shown by God and others I have learned how to forgive others--and even myself. Because of the love I have found in God, I am less afraid of the suffering because I know I am never alone in this life; He is with me.

I won't lie to you. It was a difficult journey. You must face yourself honestly, and it is frightening to confront the many faults we have. For those of us who are post-abortive, often the very things we have to face are the same fears that caused us to choose abortion in the first place. The paradox is that facing these things--fear of abandonment, self-love, pride, etc.--is the very thing that will set us free from them. No matter how hard the journey, it is never as difficult as what you are living with now.

So, I invite you to begin your journey toward healing, and I pray that you will begin this journey by reaching out to those who can help you. By educating yourself on post-abortion issues, finding support from others who have traveled this road before you, and most important, by putting your trust in God even if you don't "feel" trustful, you will be able to move toward real healing.

Remember that you are not alone in your feelings. There are reasons for them. There is no room for "politics" or controversy in post-abortion healing. We have lost our children. We must be allowed to grieve for them.

Through healing you will become a better person in spite of your abortion. God through His mercy and love is waiting for you.

I will be praying for you,

Theresa Bonapartis