Go It Alone
It's scary to talk about an abortion experience with
What if they don't understand?
What if they condemn you, withdraw from you, or start acting weird whenever
These are all reasonable fears. We have them because it is important
for all of us to see and feel that people around us care about us, love
us, and understand us. So we often hide the things about ourselves that
we fear will drive people away. We put up a defensive wall, a fake persona,
to protect us from the negative judgments of others.
That may be all right for short periods of time, but if that defensive
wall becomes a permanent part of ourselves, it is no longer just a defense;
it is a prison. It is a prison that keeps people from really knowing us.
It is a prison that keeps us from fully experiencing the love and compassion
of people who are willing to understand our abortion experience.
To break out of this prison of fear, grief, and isolation, it is essential
that you or your loved ones talk with someone who understands what it is
like. It may be especially helpful to talk with someone who has gone through
the healing process themselves. Their enthusiasm can energize you by giving
you a foretaste of the great joy of release that will soon be yours.
This is why post-abortion counseling programs and peer-support groups
are so helpful. The people you will talk to have heard it all. Many, if
not most, have been there themselves.
This is why they have a great yearning in their hearts to help you and
your loved ones. They know about your fears. But they also know about the
great joy of having this secret weight lifted off your back.
Know that post-abortion healing is a process. It takes time.
Often you will make tremendous progress in just a short time, then plateau
for a while, and then complete the process in a few more smaller steps.
But the involvement of others is always essential to that process.
For example, Kathy Williams was
able to "stuff" the grief of her abortion away for many years. The birth
of her second child, however, dredged up an enormous amount of repressed
grief, regret, and guilt. After one great episode of tears, she cried out
to God and experienced a great sense of mercy and forgiveness.
Years later, Kathy decided to volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center.
The director asked her to participate in the center's post-abortion healing
program first. Kathy felt it was unnecessary because she had already been
spiritually healed, but finally she agreed.
Through the class, Kathy found healing for many areas of her life where
her abortion was still causing problems. She worked through issues of forgiveness
and isolation. Most of all, she felt a tremendous experience of healing
by becoming involved in "a small, intimate group, made up of abortion victims
"I could be confident of their acceptance of me," Kathy said. "[I learned]
that while it takes the blood of Jesus to deliver us from guilt, it takes
the acceptance of others to deliver us from shame."
The acceptance of others will deliver you from shame, isolation, and
loneliness, too. The place to begin is with post-abortion ministries that
understand exactly what you have been through and know how you can recover
the full sense of freedom and joy in your life that you desire.
Don't go it alone. There are so many who want to help you along the
journey to healing. They've been there before you. And someday you yourself
may be able to help others along the same path.
Help is there for all who need it. You only need to accept it. Please
call one or more of the post-abortion counseling numbers on page
Kathy Williams' complete testimony
Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged (1
The Devil's Bargain (2 of 3)
Miracles Never End (3 of
The Jericho Plan: Breaking Down
the Walls Which
Prevent Post-Abortion Healing
Index of Articles Related to Post-Abortion